Why manufacturers' CO2 figures are a complete farce...

Have you ever wondered who calculates the CO2 figures for car manufacturers? Well, guess what, they do their own testing...

There is a specified test cycle, but there are no pre-conditions for hybrids, so they can arrive at the test with a fully charged battery, and finish it with an empty battery. The test route is only 11km long, and is carried out on rollers,... so wind resistance and body mass is not taken into account (very handy for Range Rovers etc...). By using non-representative levels of battery assistance, not having to accelerate a large mass (rollers, remember) and avoiding wind resistance, hybrids like the recently-trumpeted Range Rover's 2.5 tonne 89g/km hybrid can achieve incredible, but completely unrealistic, figures. And then the government believes them, and people in small, more efficient cars (in the real world) end up paying more road tax.

http://www.vcacarfueldata.org.uk/information/fuel-consumption-testing-scheme.asp

The three primary flaws:
1. Allowing plug-in hybrids to pre-charge, and then fully use up, their batteries during the test. This is not a reflection of real-world motoring.
2. Ignoring aerodynamics by running the test on rollers so the vehicle remains stationary for the whole test. This benefits large, unstreamlined vehicles like 4x4s and negates the efforts of manufacturers who try to create more streamlined cars.
3. Ignoring the mass of the vehicle. This is also a consequence of running the test on rollers, and makes the test effectively a test of the powertrain. It means that a 1,000kg supermini and a 2,300kg 4x4 will achieve the same efficiency if they share the same drivetrain. This is obviously ridiculous, as in real world driving the 4x4 will have to accelerate, brake and corner an extra 1,300kg, equivalent to carrying 17 average sized passengers!

In memory of Pentti Airikkala

I remember seeing Pentti driving just like this in the Circuit of Ireland Rally in 1979... He went on to win it that year.

Once more, a new academic year begins...

Yep, graduations on this week, yellow t-shirts and wide-eyed 1st years next week, then back to lectures...

Copy-protected CDs are a joke

So, I buy a CD online. It arrives, and has some sort of copy protection. Fair enough. But the big problem is that the small-print states that the CD may not play in car CD players because of this technology... I try it out in my car. It won't play. This is the original disc I paid good money for. I want to listen to it in the car. I feel I have the right to listen to the original CD I purchased. Do they sell a car-specific version? Do I have to make a COPY of the disc to allow me to listen to it in the car? Ah, this is just ridiculous.

Richard Wright RIP

Time to go listen to 'Us and Them' one more time...

Aftermarket HIDs should be banned.

Been blinded by ridiculously blue headlights recently? Then it's happened to you too... There are cheap aftermarket HID kits available on eBay and so on that allow you to place a HID 'bulb' in the place of your standard bulb in your headlights. While these lights, like the factory fitted options, output 3 times as much light as standard halogen bulbs, they are not managed in the same manner, hence the dangerous illegal glare they produce. Factory-fit HID lights use different reflectors to handle the different size, shape and orientation of the light source (it is an arc in a HID light, not a filament) to avoid glare and ensure a clean, correct beam pattern. They are also required, by law, to have a self-levelling system installed to stop them blinding other motorists due to longitudinal car attitude. This normally consists of either automatically-levelling headlights, or self-levelling rear suspension. Now compare this to the aftermarket installation. You take out your halogen filament bulb, with the filament a certain length and orientation, and replace it with a HID capsule that has a light source in a completely different location, and you expect the existing reflector to somehow produce the same, legal, beam pattern? Well, of course it doesn't. Light gets scattered everywhere. And to compound this error, the headlights don't self-level either. I was behind a car fitted with these HIDs recently, and when he was driving behind a white truck no beam cut-off was visible on the rear of the truck, just a complete wash of blue-white light. The poor truck driver was probably being blinded by his rear view mirrors. The Garda need to do the sensible thing and start giving these people points on their licence. They could also do something about the illegal numberplates while they were at it! You know, the yellow rear plates you see everywhere, even though the car is NOT from the UK; or the scripted fonts that make the plate unreadable...

What is the Government doing to education?

Before today's budget, things are already looking bad, with cutbacks hitting "minority" subjects like Music, Tech Drawing and so on. So the government is rewarding students who show talent and ability by removing the option from their school? Brilliant thinking. That was sarcasm, by the way. I am pointing it out because at this rate future school leavers will be unable to spot it... Leaving Cert Applied support is looking shaky, as is the Transition Year program. The government seems to be maintaining its bully tactics of picking on the weakest sectors, but undermining the education of our children is nothing short of stupidity. It's the primary advantage we have at present in the global economy. What will be revealed at 3.20pm today? Hopefully not more short-sighted lunacy... If you don't educate people, they are less likely to generate revenue in their future to support the country, so you are starting a pattern of running in ever decreasing circles...

John Martyn RIP

A video clip in memory of John Martyn who died yesterday. John lived in Ireland for a lot of his later life, being based in Kilkenny, and performed with many of the world's greats; Eric Clapton, John Paul Jones, Lee 'Scratch' Perry, Paul Weller, Dave Gilmore, Phil Collins...

Clare Co. Council fail to live up to signage

If you stop at the public slipway just north of Killaloe, adjacent to the UL Activity Centre, you will see a sign telling you to use the rubbish bins provided. Unfortunately, there are NO rubbish bins available, and I had a good look over the entire site, so I had to take my rubbish home. Not everyone will be so caring, and to paraphrase the sign, it's not easy to make a difference when there are no rubbish facilities available. C'mon Clare Co. Co., give us some bins!

Dinner choice with any 4 people, past or present?

Have been considering this one for a while. You sometimes hear it on the radio, or see it in magazines, where someone is asked to name the 4 people they would most like to share a dinner with, and they can select anyone from any time in history, past or present. At the moment the list looks something like this:

Spike Milligan
David Byrne
Branford Marsalis
Gilles Villeneuve

But it is in a constant state of flux and may be completely different tomorrow! I find myself considering the most ridiculous things, like will they all get on together? Will someone take over the show? Should I select people simply because I want to meet them, or because I genuinely think they would be good company?

So What Are Fog Lights Actually For?

Drive anywhere in Ireland in the dark, and you will notice the phenomenon of drivers using their front fog lights when there is no fog. Perhaps they do not realize they have them on, perhaps they think they make their car look cool, or perhaps they genuinely think it makes driving safer, but a brief analysis of the performance of these lights, and how our eyes work, may make you think twice about using them in anything but fog in the future.

A fog light is designed for use in conditions of significantly reduced visibility, and is used to show you the edges of the road, the lane markings, and the immediate foreground, so you can see your way safely at reduced speeds. A good fog light outputs a wide, bar-shaped beam of light with a sharp horizontal cutoff at the top of the beam, and minimal upward light above the cutoff.

Firstly, what are the disadvantages to you, the driver, in driving with your fog lights on when there’s no fog? You may think you can see better with them on, but in clear conditions more foreground light is not a good thing, it's actually a bad thing. Some foreground light is necessary so you can use your peripheral vision to see where you are relative to the road edges, the lane markings and that pothole 10 feet in front of you. But foreground light is far less safety-critical than light cast well down the road into the distance, because at any significant speed (much above 40 kmph), what's in the foreground is too close for you to do much about. In other words, if you can see it with your fog lights, you’re going to hit it! If you increase the foreground light, your pupils react to the bright, wide pool of light by constricting, which in turn substantially reduces your distance vision. It's insidious, because high levels of foreground light give the illusion, the subjective impression, of comfort and security and "good lighting", even though you actually can’t see as far down the road as with your fog lights switched off.

Secondly, what about the effect of fog lights on other road users? Well, a lot of fog lights on the market do not have correct beam patterns, or are not adjusted correctly, and cause a lot of glare for other road users when used in clear conditions. Also, a common misconception is that fog lights should be used when it is raining, but their extra downward light hitting a road surface shiny with water creates high levels of reflected glare for other drivers. Since we're all "other drivers" to everybody else on the road, it's well to think of roadway safety as a cooperative effort. In most driving situations, fog lamps are neither useful nor necessary, but more people use their fog lamps when the prevailing conditions don't call for their use, than use them when the conditions do call for their use.

It should also be noted that a lot of the factory-installed or dealer-optional fog lamps, and a great many aftermarket units, are essentially useless as fog lights, as many of them are too small to produce enough light to make a difference, produce beam patterns too narrow to help, lack a sufficiently-sharp cutoff, may actually be driving lights - with a spotlight beam pattern, or throw too much glare light into the eyes of other drivers, no matter how well they are aimed. The industry also needs to look at the example they are setting for road users in the promotion and design of their cars. It is common practice to show launch pictures of a new car with its fog lights switched on, promoting the practice further, and the novel design of the sidelights on some modern cars, such as the Audi A5 and BMW 5-series, encourages drivers to put off using their dipped beams for as long as possible to show them off, even though they can’t see where they are going! This often then prompts the driver to use the fog lights instead, thus committing the double crime of driving with no lights suitable for seeing objects in the distance, and also ruining their night distance vision with the glare just in front of their car.

Your car doesn’t look cool because it has its fog lights on, and glare is dangerous, so do yourself and everyone a favour: choose them carefully, aim them properly, use them thoughtfully, and leave them off except when they're genuinely necessary.

Government favouritism for farmers over education...

Yes, just weeks after the government grudgingly released 2.7 million Euro to help fund schools for extra-curricular activities (sport, arts, education...) for the year, they fork out 160 Million Euro to keep some pork producers happy after missing out on a few days production due to a lack of self-regulation in their industry. Disgraceful. Next thing, you'll hear of farmers who keep all their profits when the crops are good, but whine to the government for aid when the weather is bad. No, wait, that already happens! What other area of industry gets such help when there's a downturn?

On switching alliegances from Clearys to Slatterys

Yes, I have managed to find a local Subaru dealer who actually shows some interest in the customer! After 2 years of being ignored, mistreated and misinformed by Clearys of Limerick I have discovered Slatterys of Puckane, Nenagh. They are a Peugeot dealer, but just recently started selling Subaru as well, and they seem to be very efficient and helpful. As an example, I ordered a knock sensor off Clearys in March and didn't receive if for 5 months, and even then I had to drive to Ennis to collect it as the parts manager thought that was a good idea. Did they contact me once during this time? No. I ordered a wheel bearing off Slatterys last week and received it this week, within 5 working days! Ah, do businesses never learn? I'll never go to Clearys again.

Having trouble with your wireless internet connection?

Well, here's the solution... Look at some Heath Robinson paintings for inspiration, then get yourself a satellite dish, replace the receiver with the usb wireless yoke, point it at the nearest transmitter, and away you go!

Ah, eBay...

Good old eBay. When you have a nice CROSS Ion pen, and CROSS stop making them, thankfully eBay can still source the refills. Hallelujah!

Bad old eBay. You go looking for tasty, tempting (no, not an ad for Supermacs!) mandolins to send on to tempt your colleagues ("Well, hello there!!!"), and you end up buying a curved soprano sax instead...

But, good old eBay. The curved soprano sax turns out to be a gem.

Ban Nissan Micras and improve traffic flow 20%

Yes, if Micras were banned I reckon that traffic flow would improve by at least 20%. No more Micras sitting in the overtaking lane at 45kmph with big queues of frustrated motorists behind them. I have nothing against Micras in general (well, I do, really, but...), it's just that the demographic of drivers who seem to want to own one is inextricably linked with a lack of awareness of the rules of the road, and of general courtesy to other road users.

Back to Berlin pre-1989...

Yes, I get the curious feeling I am in pre-1989 Berlin at the moment. Can't say why... I am also getting flashbacks of various jobs in various IT companies down through the years. Still, it is a much better sunscreen than anything I tried to construct recently, and keeps the low autumn sun out of my eyes early in the morning, which was becoming a problem, so I guess I am grateful. I can't help but feel that something was lost in translation however...

Hot water makes a welcome return

Yes, after several months of cold water, the ERB has finally recovered and is allowing hot water to course through its veins again, and also, more importantly, to pour out of its taps. It is now possible to clean a cup again.

Bracken - How to get rid of it? Part II

Well, it would appear you CAN get Asulox in Ireland, you just can't find it online. Picked up the phone and a copy of the golden pages, started dialling, and located a supplier in Roscrea. Yes! And a 16l pumped spray back-pack. Now to wait for some dry weather...

Midwifery - a new definition

Midwifery - The state of being in the middle of a fart?

He was in midwifery when she entered the room, and she gasped and covered her nose.

"Sorry, love, I'm in midwifery at the moment..."

Bracken - How to get rid of it?

So, I have bracken taking over my garden. I have half an acre of heather behind the house, and the bracken is moving in. It grows fast, blocks the light to the heather, then falls on it in autumn, smothering it and killing it off. No animals will eat bracken, as it's toxic. The spores are carcinogenic. The roots contain cyanide. All in all, not a nice plant. Roundup will kill the heather too... Apparently, bruising the bracken will gradually kill it off, so I've spent lots of time out walloping it with a stick. It must be having some effect, as the next field, "un-walloped", is now a forest of 6 - 8 foot tall bracken fronds. Apparently, a selective herbicide called Asulox (Bayer chemicals) will work to kill it off without harming the heather, but I don't seem to be able to get it anywhere. Anyone else have any ideas?

Car ads may be forced to carry tobacco-style health warnings

The European Commission is moving to impose tobacco-style health warnings on all car advertisements.

At a top-level meeting in Brussels today, green activists, car makers and advertisers will be consulted on whether 20pc of the space in every ad, from magazines to posters and television clips, should be devoted to information about CO2 emissions and fuel consumption. The campaign for car health warnings is being led by British MEP Chris Davies.

Mr Davies, whose proposals were approved by the European Parliament last October but need the Commission's support to become law, also suggested devoting a fifth of the space in every ad to describing the environmental impact of the vehicle featured.


While this is all very well and seemingly environmentally friendly, it needs to be remembered that the CONSTRUCTION and RECYCLING costs of a car (at the beginning and end of its lifetime) are hugely significant. Therefore, buying a new Prius hybrid every year (and feeling very environmentally smug, no doubt!) is very BAD for the environment compared to buying and running a second-hand ordinary car for several years. These proposed new warnings do not take this into account, isolating the segment of the car's lifetime that involves driving along the road. Hybrids create more CO2 in their manufacture than simpler cars, and have the issue of battery disposal at the end of their lives. CNW completed a study in the US recently, although some issues in it have been debated (such as the average mileage covered by some models), but the principle is interesting nonetheless:


After all the numbers had been crunched, among vehicles sold in the U.S. in the 2005 calendar year, CNW found the least expensive vehicle to be the Scion xB at 48 cents per mile in overall energy costs. The most energy-expensive vehicle was the Maybach at $11.58 per mile in energy costs over its estimated lifetime. The VW Phaeton, Rolls-Royce line, and Bentley line followed closely behind. In all of these instances, these are overall energy costs incurred from inception through disposal, not energy costs associated only with vehicle ownership.

To compare, the Toyota Prius involves $3.25 per mile in energy costs over its lifetime, according to CNW, while several full-size SUVs scored lower. A Dodge Viper involves only $2.18 in energy per mile over its lifetime. The Range Rover Sport costs $2.42, and the Cadillac Escalade costs $2.75.

“If a consumer is concerned about fuel economy because of family budgets or depleting oil supplies, it is perfectly logical to consider buying high-fuel-economy vehicles, said Art Spinella, president of CNW, in a release. “But if the concern is the broader issues such as environmental impact of energy usage, some high-mileage vehicles actually cost society more than conventional or even larger models over their lifetime.

What's the deal with all the Nissan Almeras?

Over the last few days, I have noticed a strange trend on Irish roads. On a number of occasions a car has come up behind me, and then decided to drive behind me about a metre from my back window. I'm talking so close that I can see the driver's nostril hairs (eugh!). When an opportunity to overtake has appeared, I've slowed down to let them past (well, who wants to be rear-ended by someone driving so close?), but they just stay there. And here's the weird bit... They were ALL Nissan Almera saloons, and they ALL had their foglights on (no fog, of course). (Cue: Twilight Zone music...)

Alex Winter - Forgotten hero

Bill S. Preston Esquire certainly got a raw deal. While his co-star Keanu Reeves ascended to Hollywood aristocracy, Alex Winter, "the brains of the operation" [Brendan Grace - Father Ted 1996], seems to have been forgotten, despite being by far the more talented of the two. He had to act in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure", whereas Keanu was, well, himself! To illustrate his talent; in 1993, Winter co-wrote, co-directed, and starred in the critically praised comedy Freaked (1993). In 1999, he wrote and directed the critically acclaimed thriller Fever (1999), which made its debut at the Cannes Film Festival. He currently divides his time between New York and London, where he directs television commercials and music videos [IMDB 2008]. SO, let's hear it for the man!

Be excellent to each other!

Party on dudes!

I mean, really... some people have such troubled lives

So I'm cycling along, and I meet a woman with her dog. I decide to do the decent thing and move off the path to let her past (well, the dog is large, wayward, and not on a lead (not permitted in most public places)). Next thing I hear is "Oh, that really isn't very good for the lawn". The response options are many.

1. Ignore the old bat.

2. Inform her of the results of a study in the Lake District in England that found that walkers boots make significantly more damage than MTB tires, mostly because they create discrete impacts that drag across the surface, whereas a tire is constantly in contact over a larger area, and rolls without applying a sudden shear force to the ground (the exception being when the wheels are locked).

3. Ask her if the only thanks I get for getting out of the way of her out-of-control dog is her acerbic opinion on grass preservation.

4. Remind her that my bike does not harass or obstruct people, nor does it deposit faeces on the ground.

5. Suggest that if the height of her worldly worries is the state of a lawn that she does not own, then she is indeed a very lucky woman.


I went with option 1.

USB sockets, why no tactile orientation feedback?

Scenario: You have a USB memory stick, or a mouse, or whatever. You want to plug it into a USB socket on the back of your PC/Mac case or Mac widescreen monitor. You can't actually look directly into the socket (because of the desk/wall/whatever), so you don't know which way up the socket is. You know the orientation of the connector in your hand.

How do you plug the device into the socket while being sure that the extra pressure you are exerting is to overcome a tight connection rather than damaging the socket because the plug is incorrectly oriented relative to it?

Situation 1: Horizontal socket. Common sense tells you that the top will match the USB symbol on most plugs. Common sense will mostly be right.

Situation 2: Vertical socket. This is the biggie! A lot of machines (MacMini for example) stack their USB connectors vertically to save space, but what orientation is intuitive for them? USB symbol towards the centre of the machine? Towards the left? Towards the right? Is it time to consider purchasing a dentist's mirror and a Maglight torch instead?

Firewire knew what was going on, with an obviously directional connector. I seem to remember some Mac USB plugs possessing grooves on one side also?

Anyway, we need a USB socket policy!

My suggestion. Horizontal orient to the top. Vertical orient to the left as viewed from the front of the machine, right as viewed from the back. It doesn't really matter, just stick to a convention...

Peak Oil - What is it? What can we do about it?

If Peak Oil pundits are right, it spells the end forever of cheap fuel for internal combustion engine cars. Here's the perspective in one simple and quick read.

The full article can be viewed at:

http://autospeed.com/cms/A_110211/article.html



Q: What’s Peak Oil?

A: Peak Oil is when we reach the maximum rate of oil production and the demand for oil outstrips the capacity to produce it. There will still be oil, but it will be a scarcer, more precious resource.

Q: Has Peak Oil occurred before?

A: On a smaller scale, yes. The U.S. production peak occurred in 1970 and the North Sea peak in 2001, but the production peak we’re talking about is global, not local.

Q: Are we running out of energy?

A: Not exactly. It means we are going to be running short of a very convenient form of energy, one that propels our planes, trains, and automobiles! Up until now, it has been a buyer’s market but after Peak Oil, it will be a seller’s market and prices will rise steeply. The signs of this change may already be apparent in the record oil prices we’ve seen in the last year.

Q: Whose fault is it? Who’s holding out?

A: Nobody, there’s just a limit to how much oil the world can produce every day. We have been finding less oil than we’ve been consuming since the 1980’s and much of the oil we use today comes from fields over 40 years old. We’re spending our inheritance and pretty soon we will have to learn to live within our means.

Q: What will the consequences be?

A: Oil, and everything that depends on oil (which is just about everything) will become much more expensive. This will cause economic turmoil and international tensions as nations compete for dwindling oil reserves.


Q: What does this mean for me?

A: Imagine if the cost of filling your car tripled. You might reconsider buying that 4WD in favour of a smaller car, public transport, or a bicycle, or walking. You might wish you lived closer to work.

Imagine if food shipped from overseas or trucked from interstate became prohibitively expensive. You might start buying more local produce or growing your own.

Imagine if the oil-shock led to a recession. You might lose your job, making it even harder to make ends meet with the new higher prices...

The consequences of peak oil are potentially very serious and will reach into every area of life. We must take action now. Remember, Noah built the ark before it started raining.

Q: Won’t we just switch to Hydrogen/ethanol/biodiesel?

A: Hydrogen faces huge technical challenges and even if those are overcome it will take decades and trillions of dollars to build a hydrogen economy.

Biodiesel and ethanol will never be available in sufficient quantities to replace oil usage. As an example, Australia’s entire wheat crop, converted to ethanol would replace less than 10% of the oil they use.

In short there is no simple substitute for oil that will available in the near future. Dealing with peak oil will not be easy and will involve re-thinking every aspect how we live.

Q: When will we reach Peak Oil?

A: A number of independent scientists believe it will happen before the end of the decade and that it may be here already. Others say we have longer before the peak hits, but can we afford to wait and see?

Q: What can we do?

A: First of all talk about it, talk about it, and talk about it! Talk to your friends and work colleagues. Ask politicians what they are doing to address this issue. You can’t solve a problem until you know you have one.

Another step that can be taken is to asses our own oil vulnerability and look at steps to reduce it. This can be done by individuals, communities, businesses or governments.

Do you live in a vulnerable community? What steps could you or your community take to reduce the impact of high oil prices? As an individual this could mean walking or cycling more, combining car trips or taking the bus. As a community this might include campaigning for improved public transport, or setting up carpooling initiative. We are not helpless and there are many possibilities for making ourselves and our communities more resilient to the coming oil crisis.

Oh the irony of it...

After many years of British occupation in India, the tables have now turned, with Tata, an Indian conglomerate, buying Jaguar and Land Rover, two stalwarts of the old empire (all that leather and wood veneer...), while maintaining that it will respect the brands’ British heritage. How times change!

Adam Carroll wins Ireland's first race for A1 GP the day before Paddy's Day!

A1 Team Ireland was on sensational form in Mexico City this afternoon to win the thrilling Feature race, becoming the 15th nation to win an A1GP race. It is a fantastic result for Portadown’s Adam Carroll in his debut season for the team, and particularly well timed as the win comes just one day before St Patrick’s Day. The top three title contenders – Switzerland, New Zealand and France – all endured difficult afternoons and failed to score any points.

A green flag signalled the start of the action-packed 47-lap race in hot and sunny weather conditions (36 degrees C), after the first start was aborted due to technical problems with the starting lights.

Twenty-five-year-old Adam Carroll, who topped the time sheets in free practice on Friday, started the race from fifth and leapt up the order to second behind Switzerland’s Neel Jani after amazing work from the Irish team during the first compulsory pit stop on lap nine. He held position until lap 34 when he pitted the emerald green car for the second time and rejoined the action as race leader after another sensational stop. The crowds roared as Carroll, who was making his 14th race appearance for Ireland, crossed the line first to take his and the team’s first ever A1GP victory.

Anders is missing!

Yes, Anders has yet to arrive and make the coffee this morning, and we miss him. If you have seen him, please drop us a line.

Slowing down increases CO2 - New research suggests that reducing speeds can cause a rise in exhaust emissions.

A shock new study shows that driving at 20mph instead of 30mph actually pumps out more CO2. Research carried out by the AA has revealed that slowing traffic down can boost carbon dioxide levels by as much as 10 per cent.

And the motoring organisation is warning local authorities that well intentioned safety schemes could backfire in environmental terms. The hike in CO2 is due to the fact that cars aren’t at their most efficient when running very slowly.

The AA‘s investigation claims a petrol model on a 20mph street could emit nearly one tonne of extra CO2 per mile. “Trans port planners have minimal official guidance on the environmental imp act of 20mph speed limits,” explained AA president Edmund King. “It would be a bitter irony if local authorities are found guilty of pumping up emissions through the indiscriminate use of these restrictions.”

Cruinniu raise 10,000 Euro, and present it to local school

A photo from the Limerick Leader, 18 January. Cruinniu are seen here with UL President Don Barry and Micheal O Suilleabhain as they present a cheque for 10,000 Euro to Anne O Sullivan, principle of St. Vincent's School.

So you think your 4x4 actually has 4 wheel drive?

Is it a Subaru? If not, you may be in for a shock! Independant tests of the 4wd systems in the Honda CRV, Toyota Highlander, VW Passat 4-Motion, and Subaru Forester and Legacy. Just shows that the toughness of a car's appearance has nothing to do with its abilities. Mind you, most CRV owners have probably never got their tyres muddy in any case, so only being essentially front wheel drive is not an issue! Interesting that Honda and Toyota do not reveal what traction systems their cars actually have, and that we have to go on blind faith that when they tell us their cars are 4wd, they actually are capable (or not!) of transferring power to the rear wheels...

Well, it's a new year again...

So here we go, all tensed up and prepared for big changes, motivated beyond all belief, but after the first 10 minutes, everything slips back to normal... Reminds me of the Father Ted cleaning scene... "Let's clean this mother!"

Cleaning the house

Ah, replacing bulbs in cars, why so difficult?

So picture the scene. One of your headlight bulbs has gone, and you can't see very well. You have a spare set of bulbs in the glove box (well, you have to, legally, in France anyway!). You are driving a Subaru Forester S-turbo, or a Toyota Celica GT. You open the bonnet, detach the headlight cable connector, flick the catches, slide the bulb out, and put in the new one. Easy. Now imagine you're driving an Audi A4, A6, Ford Cougar or such... For Audis, the owners manual tells you to bring the car to a main dealer! If you try to do it yourself you have to remove the air snorkel, airbox, power steering resevoir etc... Then you have to locate 4 screws for each light, 2 hidden down under the light. Did you bring a torch with you? Is it raining? Do you have a magnet to pick up any screws that may fall into the engine, or disappear into a drain? Vorsprung Durch Technic my arse! The Ford Cougar isn't so bad. The owners manual takes you step by step through the procedure. First you have to remove the front grille. Might be good to have somewhere safe and well-lit to lay out all the parts you've removed! Then the entire headlight assembly needs to be removed from the front of the car. Once you've done this, then you can begin to dis-assemble the unit to get at the bulbs... I mean, really, come on, motor manufacturers! Why should this be so difficult?

CFD not used for ERB design, evidently...

If only the architects of the Engineering Research Building had run a CFD* simulation on the design, they would have spotted the venturi created by the walkway between the buildings. This venturi accelerates the wind flowing between the buildings, and thus also creates a low-pressure area that ensures opening any of the entrance doors results in them being rapidly sucked out and smashing into each other, The problem this morning was particularly bad as the damper has been detached from the door (probably because it is not strong enough to self-close against such a pressure differential), thus the door can swing in an uncontrolled manner. I would not be surprised if the glass breaks one of these days. The automated access door will soon burn out its motor for the same reasons.

*CFD - Computational Fluid Dynamics

NCT all new cars please! At least their headlight aim...

All new cars should have to pass a NCT Lite (no pun intended!) to check their dipped beams are set correctly. Only forcing the NCT on cars more than 4 years old is unfair on those road users who are constantly blinded by new car owners driving behind them with their headlights incorrectly aligned. This issue will not be caught for 4 years; that's 4 years of potential blinding for every new car on the road. Partly to blame are the "levelling" devices on the dash designed for adjusting your lights if you are towing a heavy trailer, for example. Some owners just think this is an "improve my lighting" switch, and wind it up to the max, thus placing their car in an NCT-fail state. Correctly aligned dipped beams should only light the tyres and bumper of the car in front of you. Most new cars that drive behind me manage to light all three rear-view mirrors, and the ceiling of my car! C'mon people, if you can't work it out for yourselves (oh look, the guy in the car in front of us has his hand over the rear-view mirror. How can we see that so clearly? Hmm...), then it's time for legislation.

Lemon Juice

Made the staggering discovery yesterday, while looking at the ingredients for a well-known brand of washing-up liquid, that REAL LEMON JUICE is used in washing-up liquid, yet, after a quick scan of some other products in the kitchen, only fake lemon flavourings are used in most of the stuff we eat. So, when you wash the dishes after dinner, only now are you using fresh lemon juice... Ridiculous? No, just another example of how confused and disorientated our world has become.

Minister Éamon Ó Cuív TD visits Abaltat offices

Éamon Ó Cuív TD, Minister for Community, Rural & Gaeltacht Affairs, visited the Abaltat offices in Spiddal on Friday 19 October. Much excitement ensued, mar dhea!!! I even shaved for the occasion!

Abaltat Express features on Television Broadcast 2 Minute Drill

Yes,

Abaltat Express features in a www.televisionbroadcast.com 2-Minute Drill:

http://www.televisionbroadcast.com/TMD/archive/2007/101907-two-minutedrill.mp3

CRUINNIÚ

Cruinniu perform LIVE in UL

Cruinniu perform LIVE in Foundation Building

Yes, Cruinniu, UL's Trad Group, performed live last Friday for the release of their 1st CD. All proceeds of the sale of CDs are going to help fund the construction of a snooze room in St. Vincent's School, Lisnagry, Limerick.

We even got to appear on YouTube... that's me 4th from the left at the back, playing a beautiful hand-made Ian Lambe low D whistle.

If you don't see it above, click here to see it!

Ah, stupid taps...

Terrible shame that we don't get mixer taps in Ireland like in continental Europe... Planning laws do not require them. So it's just a case of hot tap, "oww!!!", cold tap, "brrr!!!", hot tap "that burns!!!", cold tap, "ah, that's a relief, no, wait, it's freezing!", hot tap...

Justin McCarthy being interviewed on Radio IBC last week...

The company that was born out of the Metamusic research project in the IDC has won an award in IBC 2007 in Amsterdam.









They were also interviewed on Radio IBC:

www.http://www.radioibc.com/myradioibc

Click on "Abaltat - Music Composition For Dummies!"

Here we go again... another format war!

"Sony Corp said it will launch four models of new Blu-ray high-definition optical disc recorders in November in Japan, as its format battle with the HD DVD camp heats up."

Talk about not learning from history...

Stereo vs. Quad

Cassette vs. Cartridge

VHS vs. Betamax

MiniDisc vs. DCC

SACD vs. DVD Audio

+R +RW vs. -R -RW

PAL vs. SECAM vs. NTSC

the list goes on...

He walks!

Yes, the young man has started to walk, at 14 months. Maybe he'll get tired earlier now and allow me get some sleep, or watch something other than cartoons... On the other hand, all cupboards are now within range, time to add more safety catches. His shoes light up when he walks. Why don't they make those for adults? Just because we're older doesn't mean we don't like having fun any more. It's like Doc Marten boots; all the cool colours only go up to size 5 or something, after that it's mundane black, navy, and ox-blood.

Luciano Pavarotti, RIP

Luciano Pavarotti passed away last night. In rememberance, played Miss Sarajevo (with U2) in the IDC today. Apologies it was nothing more "sophisticated", it was all I had in my iTunes, but nothing changes the brilliance of that voice.

I reckon he'll enjoy the choirs of angels upstairs.

Abaltat Muse out there

In case anyone didn't know, Abaltat Muse and Beat are available for OSX...

Here's the link:

www.abaltat.com

Muse was born out of a feasibility study, and then a full IDA IP project, in the Interaction Design Centre in UL.

Handy hint!

Morning all.

CyberViking sent me this cool link for a course in UL...

http://www.csis.ul.ie/imedia

Try it out!

Mint Feasts are back!

In case you hadn't noticed, one of the greatest confectionary/ice cream creations of all time was re-introduced recently, after a break of, well, MANY years. The standard Feast is just too one-track, so it's great to have the all-time best ice cream back.

Hooray!!!

Let us rejoice at the altar of mint feastiness.

Native Instruments in sekret pakt with Linn Audio?

The evidenke is there for all to see...

I have been using kontakt 2 for a konsiderable time now, and I must say how impressed I am with it. The konstant use of k’s everywhere kan be annoying, however. All kredit kan be attributed to those krafty konstruktors of software synths known as Native Instruments. The insert effekts are exkellent, and easy to akkess; the konvolution masterful, the klarinet, kello, akkordian, and klavinet simply pure klass and konsiderably better than most soft synths playing midi on the market this kentury. The obsession with k’s rivals that of Linn Audio, and makes me suspekt a subversive, illikit partnership!

You be the judge…

The Sondek LP12, Ekos SE, Akito, Akiva, Klyde, and Adikt , are some of the Linn turntables/akkessories available, for example. Their disk players inklude the Majik and Classik. Their Pre-amps… Klimax Kontrol, Exotik, Majik Kontrol, Kisto and Kinos. The list goes on.

Their website: http://www.linn.co.uk/linn_products


Native Instruments...

Kore 1, Reaktor, Kontakt, Vokator, Elektrik Piano, NI-Spektral Delay, Traktor, and so on.

Their website: http://www.native-instruments.com


Very suspekt!

Word misuse disease spreads through media...

Yes, the terrible lose/loose confusion has now made the front page of the Limerick Independant, as we are informed that some poor teenager "looses life". This inaccurate use of the word loose is spreading like wildfire through Irish society. It has yet to appear on a large scale elsewhere, and seems to be mostly confined to Ireland. Specifically, the issue is with the replacement of lose with loose; the opposite never seems to occur.

Some examples of this error:

Student looses jacket in Main Building.

Team loose to rampant visiting side.


Loose, to me, refers to the state of not being tightened properly, to be about to fall off or fail; lose refers to the state of no longer being in possession of something, of misplacing it. Interestingly, if a bolt was loose on your bike, you could easily lose it...

You can, of course, loose an arrow, but this is from the likes of Robin Hood novels and involves letting an arrow fly from your bow deliberately.

Merriam Webster has the following to say on the matter:

Main Entry: loose
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): loosed; loos·ing
transitive verb
1 a : to let loose : RELEASE b : to free from restraint
2 : to make loose : UNTIE
3 : to cast loose : DETACH
4 : to let fly : DISCHARGE
5 : to make less rigid, tight, or strict : RELAX
intransitive verb : to let fly a missile (as an arrow) : FIRE


Main Entry: lose
Pronunciation: 'lüz
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): lost /'lost/; los·ing /'lü-zi[ng]/
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English losian to perish, lose, from los destruction; akin to Old English lEosan to lose; akin to Old Norse losa to loosen, Latin luere to atone for, Greek lyein to loosen, dissolve, destroy
transitive verb
1 a : to bring to destruction -- used chiefly in passive construction b : DAMN
2 : to miss from one's possession or from a customary or supposed place
3 : to suffer deprivation of : part with especially in an unforeseen or accidental manner
4 a : to suffer loss through the death or removal of or final separation from (a person) b : to fail to keep control of or allegiance of
5 a : to fail to use : let slip by : WASTE b (1) : to fail to win, gain, or obtain (2) : to undergo defeat in c : to fail to catch with the senses or the mind
6 : to cause the loss of
7 : to fail to keep, sustain, or maintain
8 a : to cause to miss one's way or bearings b : to make (oneself) withdrawn from immediate reality
9 a : to wander or go astray from b : to draw away from : OUTSTRIP
10 : to fail to keep in sight or in mind
11 : to free oneself from : get rid of

The mysteries of administration

Picture this:

You want to buy something. You want to sell something else. Someone wants to buy what you're selling ASAP. The person selling the thing you want to buy is dying to sell it to you. Everyone is in agreement, and everything is in place to proceed. Yet nothing happens, week after week. What element is conspiring to prevent the transaction going through? Why, it's the facilitators, of course! Makes perfect sense, no? Well, this scenario is re-enacted thousands of times a year, and we are powerless to do anything about it. It's called MOVING HOUSE. And the delaying element is called a SOLICITOR. Words mean different things in this twilight world of pin-stripe suits, buff folders, and paper-based administration. For example: "Soon" means "sometime in the next 4 - 6 weeks, but we won't tell you when until you've run out of time to arrange anything". Mind you, I should be moving in "soon", and the date for closing is definitely going to be "soon" as well, maybe even "sooner". "Calling someone" actually means "calling the secretary, who tells you he/she is unavailable/with a client/out of the office. Please leave a number and he/she will get back to you soon". Yes, "soon" again! The interesting thing is that this "calling someone" issue also applies to solicitors, so getting 3 of them to agree on anything becomes a long, convoluted dance of secretaries taking messages, replies not getting through, and general farce on a P.G. Wodehouse scale. The conclusion of this farce is that they actually make contact, and then BEGIN to discuss possible dates, which are probably going to be "soon". Ah...

Minimalism

Why does minimalism have such a long name? And as for abbreviation, I mean, couldn't they have abbreviated it? Lisp as a word is just plain cruel.

In the beginning...

In the beginning there was nothing.
Then God proclaimed: Let there be light!
And there was still nothing.
But he could see there was nothing.

CO2 is NOT the cause of global warming...

Indeed, a documentary aired on Channel 4 tonight shows that while the graphs of temperature and CO2 do indeed correlate (as shown by Al Gore in his recent film), CO2 levels FOLLOW global temperatures, trailing them by about 800 years on average. This means that global temperatures cause CO2 levels to change, not the other way around, and are linked to the level of solar radiation affecting the release and/or absorbtion of CO2 by the oceans. The long delay is due to the great latency caused by the size of the oceans.

Scientists in the programme also raise another discrepancy with the official line, showing that most of the recent global warming occurred before 1940, when global temperatures then fell for four decades. It was only in the late 1970s that the current trend of rising temperatures began. This, claim the sceptics, is a flaw in the CO2 theory, because the post-war economic boom produced more CO2 and should, according to the consensus, have meant a rise in global temperatures. Indeed, a programme shown on the BBC in the early 1970s, after global temperaures had dropped for 4 decades, raised concerns about the earth going into an ice age, causing possible catastrophic weather changes! Sound familiar?

What was fascinating was the reference to how the global warming research drive began when Margaret Thatcher gave money to scientists to 'prove' burning coal and oil was harmful, as part of her drive for nuclear power to make her less vulnerable to the power of the striking miners. Perhaps political will is in action again as Al Gore discovers A Convenient Story?

Read all about it:
http://www.channel4.com/science/microsites/G/great_global_warming_swindle/index.html

Tesco Self-Service Tills a disaster!

The local Tesco Express has recently installed automated barcode scanners/tills. They, however, have big issues for the most commonly bought item in this type of shop, namely, booze! Worst case scenario is 6 cans of beer held together by those handy plastic rings...

1. Go up to self-service till with handy 6-pack dangling elegantly from one finger.
2. Press Start button.
3. Scan edge of first can while holding the 6 can unit, intending to do so 6 times (well, 6 identical items...?).
4. Item is alcohol, you need staff approval. Where are the staff? You are left standing there with fingers quickly freezing against cans from chilled section...
5. Staff member arrives, types in code, goes away again.
6. Attempt to scan first can second time. Annoying voice tells you that you have not put item 1 down yet (some weighing scale in the unit, I presume). You tell annoying voice that you can't as all 6 cans are attached to each other. You realise you are talking to a machine that can't hear you.
7. Try to go through the on-screen menu to enter multiple items like they can do in "real" tills.
8. Realise you can't. Machine reminds you you haven't put item 1 on the till yet. You tell machine where to stick its suggestion.
9. Try putting all 6 cans on till so it thinks you've added an item, then lift them up again to scan second can.
10. Machine tells you not to remove 1st item. You tell machine to *&^% off. Machine refuses to be drawn into an argument.
11. Staff member notices (after 2 minutes) that you are becoming more and more irate.
12. You ask staff member if you can enter multiple identical items. You are told "No. You have to take the cans apart and scan each one, before putting it on the pressure pad".
13. You mention that the plastic connecting yoke was really handy and saved you having to carry 6 loose cans out the door while trying to locate your car keys, but now you would have to try to reconnect the 6 cans, and not on the till, as it was giving out to you about not removing all the items.
14. The staff member gives you a plastic bag, but insists you scan it also and pay 15c for it. You try to explain that the whole idea was to avoid using a bag in the first place.
15. You go to the cashier next time, and have a good bitch with them about the machines. They agree whole-heartedly with you. You feel better.

iTunes store vs iPod users

Just read that only 5% of music content on iPods/MP3 players comes from the iTunes store! I can understand why. Buying a CD has tangible advantages (literally!), and also gives you a high quality lossless starting point. If you want to downgrade the quality for the sake of portability, you can, but when you come home it's time to fire up that lovely Quad CD player with an outboard DAC, and enjoy some REAL quality; 2.5mm stereo headphone jacks and compression really are not hifi...

Getting tired of pontificating via Events mailing list, anyone?

Yes, it is a campus-wide epidemic... Someone posts a notice about a meeting to discuss car parking, and some individuals take it upon themselves to think that the thousands of people on the mailing list want to be bombarded with their perspective on the whole sorry issue. Why don't they just go to the meeting and stop clogging up the email system? Perhaps they should be doing something to tackle the issue itself if they have so much free time to have public email spats? In any case, the arguments are about 2 different things, and that's why there will never be a resolution. It's like having one side of 2 equations, and wondering why no-one can find the solution...

Time is running out...

Well, so here I am, all keen and qualified and ready to go, and the powers that be seem to be dragging their heels. Only a few weeks left, so little time to prepare 2 courses and allocate personnel. If only I could be shown a sign...

113c petrol in Dublin - Why not Limerick?

Petrol in Tesco in Dublin (Dundrum shopping centre) is only 113c a litre, as opposed to 120c here. Not fair! No wonder so many petrol stations are closing. When do we get Tesco petrol in Limerick?

The seediness of this post is unavoidable...

Apologies, but it may grow on you... I recently sowed grass seed in my back garden, after trying to eradicate the worst of the weeds, but I may as well have taken out an ad. in the local Sparrow Eaters Monthly the way they have been eating it. Feckers! Good news is that the worsening weather has made the seed wet with rain and somewhat less appetising, as well as encouraging it to germinate. I can now discern a definite "green" tinge to the garden, and live in hope of the return of a bit of a lawn! Funny how the grass always grows strongly in the plant borders where you don't want it...

Academia no guarantee of intelligence

Noted with interest, and some surprise, that academia does not necessarily guarantee extra intelligence in people. It was raining yesterday, and the route from my building to the cafeteria features a roof over 60% of the distance, but most people walked in the rain rather than using the obvious cover available to them. When you consider the cost of constructing this extra section of roof, why did they not just give me the cash instead?

Bad potty training in evidence in UL

Why oh why do some men insist on entering the cubicles in the toilets only to then remain standing and urinate all over the toilet seat? There are 3 perfectly good urinals for this purpose. If you must hide in a cubicle, at least have the decency to lift the seat first, so someone needing to use the seat does not have to sit in your urine. To these same gentlemen, do you do the same when you get home? Does your wife/girlfriend spend her day cleaning up after you? More pertinantly, do you even have a wife/girlfriend, or do you live in a stinking cesspool on your own? Answers on a postcard to ...

More trouble with pretentious retired women

Here we go again, Limerick's biggest attitude problem... No, it's not teenagers, it's retired women who think their station in life is superior to those proles around them. They particularly like causing aggravation on the UL campus, as they seem to regard students as the lowest of the low. This is ironic, as, firstly, UL is private property, not their playground for bad parking and lack of consideration for others (I will get to this presently, the reason for my desire to put fingers to keyboard), so students have every right to be there, and they do not. Secondly, a lot of these women probably do not have any qualifications, let alone qualifications to match their target of distaste (and they probably got their driving licences when the government just handed them out in the 1960s as well!), so their superiority is curiously misplaced. Now we get to the encounter in question. I am cycling (this makes me double-damned as scum, of course) in the main entrance, along the cycle path UL has kindly recently added, and I find a red A class Merc blocking my path. It is parked hard up against the pavement, yet still projects 3 feet outside the cycle lane into the traffic. The cycle lane in UL is on the right hand side of the road, so I have two options to surmount this obstacle; one, go up onto the pavement; two, veer out into the path of oncoming traffic. The former seems by far the safest, but Big Hair And Glasses No. 1 in the Merc has the window open and is talking to Big Hair And Glasses No. 2, who is blocking the pavement and making no effort to leave me any space. I have to unclip my SPD pedals at this stage, as I have come to a complete stop. They continue to ignore the problem. A number of cars are leaving UL, so I can't go around the outside and risk a head-on collision with a car. I inform Big Hair And Glasses No. 2 that they are blocking the cycle lane. I am ignored. The traffic clears, and I decide to just go to work (yes, Big Hair women, we work in UL, rather than drinking and lazing around all day, as you probably have decided we do, did you know that researchers only get 20 days holidays a year? Bet you didn't). I now wonder if perhaps I should have tried to reason with them, but I know there would have been no point. The complete disregard shown for other road users is indicative of a blatant lack of compassion and consideration, so I fear that any attempts to enlighten them would have been worthless, and a waste of my time. Such a shame that we can no longer depend on our elders for a good example. As a footnote, it is also ironic that someone should feel so superior because she is in a Merc, when you consider how an A class is the cheapest Merc available, and so many "more ordinary" cars are much more expensive and better specified. She also probably claps between movements in concerts in the ULCH...

We're Irish, but we don't know what to do when it rains!

Raining heavily this morning, and every schoolkid I saw going to school, and 90% of all the other pedestrians, had no umbrella or raincoat, and were simply standing there getting wet. Unbelieveable. This happens all the time in Limerick. Why? Perhaps raincoats and umbrellas are "un-cool" ? Well, I think looking like a drowned rat is un-cool too! What is most unfathomable is how we as a nation seem so unprepared for rain in a country that has rain as a constant companion. Roads flood, people don't carry umbrellas or waterproof coats, walkways between buildings in universities are not covered (apart from UCD, in fairness)...

Dangerous "Joe Lawlor Coach Hire" driver on the roads

Yes, this morning, at 10:51 at the main UL entrance, a Joe Lawlor employee ran a cyclist through a line of parking cones set up as part of the roadworks at the college entrance. I know this, because I was the cyclist. I am alright, but that's thanks to luck and a good sense of balance, not to mister "I can't see and shouldn't be driving people around in a professional capacity". The details: I am approaching the main entrance from the CPH direction. I hear a commercial vehicle engine behind me, and then a white minibus starts to overtake me. While the rear wheel of the bus is still level with me, the bus pulls hard left and comes to an abrupt halt. I have 2 choices, go under the back wheel, or crash through the line of parking cones on my left. I choose the latter, thinking they will be light and will move out of my way. Wrong. They are a lot more solid than they look. I bounce off one of them, clip the next one, and somehow retain my balance. I am now in the roadworks themselves, on a racer (i.e. not a mountain bike with offroad tyres). I manage to make my way out through the cones ahead of the bus, point at myself, and ask the driver if he saw me at all. He looks surprised, as if I've just appeared out of thin air, even though he just partially overtook me 10 seconds ago and tried to run over me. It is daylight, I am wearing a bright red cycling helmet, and a dayglow yellow jacket. He has no excuse other than complete incompetence and dangerous driving. It contrasts nicely with their website, where we are told that "Joe Lawlor Coach Hire is a family run business offering a professional but friendly mini bus and coach hire service to all customers". Ah, I've seen the loophole! I wasn't a customer, therefore, I did not deserve the professional service! This also excludes me from their motto: "if we look after our customers they quickly become our friends". Well, if you don't look after other road users, they quickly become incensed and vitriolic, that is even if they aren't also hospitalised, and you get a lot of bad publicity. And with driving like I witnessed, and suffered because of, this morning, you deserve all the bad publicity you draw upon yourselves.

MusicSequence is crap

Why, oh why, is the framework in OS X so unhelpful to musicians? MIDI files should be easily parsable, but they're not. OK, they can be sucked in to a MusicSequence, but there is no way to find out what the Division value is in the inputted file, even though you need to specify it for writing the file back out to MIDI afterwards. Aaaaargh! I'll just stick to reading the file manually in C, I guess.

Nice one! McRae, Piironen support Ireland's championship bid

Saw this in the Irish Examiner today...

McRae, Piironen support Ireland's championship bid

Two former World Rally Championship (WRC) title holders have announced their support for Ireland's bid to host a round of the prestigious championships from 2007.

Great Britain’s first ever WRC champion, the legendary Colin McRae, has come out in support of Rally Ireland, in the run up to their candidate event from Friday to Sunday, March 10-12.

"I’ve been rallying in Ireland for years, and it has always been great. They are serious about their rallying, and the stages are tough and testing but the Irish sure know how to host a rally, and there is a lot of fun after the rallying is done," said the Scot.

McRae continued: "I can’t see why there shouldn’t be a round of the WRC in Ireland; the championship needs more tarmac rallies. The stages are different to European tarmac rallies, and it would be a real test for today’s WRC drivers. It would also be a great place for drivers to compete because the scenery is spectacular so that would also make it great for TV."

McRae holds the record for being the youngest ever WRC champion when he won in 1995.

Finnish Champion co-driver Juha Piironen has also thrown his weight behind the bid saying: "The appeal of Rally Ireland will be that the tarmac stages are so good to drive in the dry but devilishly challenging when they're wet!

"The stages I’ve seen float through beautiful rolling hills, waterfront roads and wide open green spaces. Ireland really is the most beautiful location in the world for WRC," he concluded.

Piironen is three time world co-driver champion with fellow Finn Juha Kankkunen – who was the second-most successful World Rally Championship driver of all time behind Tommi Mäkinen.

Thump.....Thump.....Thump.....Thump.....Thump.....

New houses being built in the field bordering my back garden require pile driving for their foundations. Every morning all I hear is Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... get another one ready, Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump....., then I go to work, come home, and am greeted with Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... get another one ready, Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Thump..... Just as well I'm not doing any recording at home at the moment, or I'd have to write music that had a coincident beat pattern or something. The delay unit called the house across the road provides a nice 1/2 sec delay to the thumps, depending on where in the house you stand. I hope the builders all get piles too. Maybe I should find out where THEY live, and hammer some stakes into the ground outside their houses at 8 in the morning. Mind you, they wouldn't be there, too busy making noise back at my house...

A nice surprise...

Last year I planted bulbs all over my garden, miniature daffodils, crocuses (crocii ?), snowdrops and so on, and then completely forgot about them. As I looked out the kitchen window this week, what did I see but little bursts of colour erupting all over the garden! At first I was thinking "what the hell...", but this quickly switched to "of course, the bulbs!". If I'd known they'd all start growing by 14 February I would probably have sown them in a heart shape or something, and then asked my wife to look out the window on Valentines Day! Now THAT would earn major brownie points! Then I could sow later-flowering flowers to spell out "and I'd like a Ferrari as well"...

Greatest invention ever!

Perhaps there may be some element of exaggeration here, but I recently ordered a pair of Altura cycling overshoes from a website in the UK, and they arrived just in time for Ireland's latest onslaught of airborne H2O. Up until now, my breathable jacket and overtrousers have kept me completely dry from all the rain, but any puddle or passing scumbag in a car is liable to create a water flow that disregards gravity, being either projected upwards from a splash, or directed forwards from the spinning rear tyre as the Coanda effect, combined with water tension, finally becomes overcome by centrifugal force. The resultant non-gravitational water flow cleverly circumvents normal waterproof apparel and pours litres of water over my feet and into my shoes. This hitherto unavoidable occurance, leading to extreme irritation at total dryness APART from soggy feet (so near yet so far, etc.), has now been completely eradicated! The overshoes come up above the ankle, are made of neoprene, have sole cutouts for use with SPD pedal clips, are completely waterproof, and, as a bonus extra, keep my feet lovely and warm as well! Lots of reflective scotchlite completes the picture.

If you cycle in the rain, anywhere, GET A PAIR !

http://www.allterraincycles.co.uk/p.php?products=Clothing&header=Overshoes

Another road-related rant, sorry!

I have decided that the most dangerous drivers on the road are not press-on executives in big saloons, boy racers, taxi drivers, or any of the groups stereotypically labelled as dangerous; the vote must surely go to young drivers in small, boring, unimaginative, unloved, cheap cars that feature an L-Plate in the back window. The type who hate buses, cycling, walking, and have been waiting for years to get on the road, regardless of how cheap and crap the car is. The lack of interest in the car is an important issue here, as young drivers who look after their cars and have some pride in them tend to be much more capable on the road. I encountered, or rather, found myself involved in, two incidents this very morning involving small cars (Fiat Cincecento, Volkswagen Polo, both base models that hadn't been cleaned for a while) that featured L-Plates. Incident 1: Cycling along the road, I spot a big pile of tarmac and gravel, obviously left over from some uncompleted roadworks, on my side of the road. I want to move around it, as it's about 2 metres wide, but I can hear a car behind me. I look behind, see this red Cincecento, indicate that I need to move out, and try to do so. The car draws level with me, refuses to give me any space, and runs me over the roadworks. The driver, a young woman with long blonde hair, carries on her merry way with her L-Plate advertising her inexperience. 1 mile later (I know, not my day!), I arrive at a roundabout, and proceed across it ( I am going straight ahead). A red Polo is at the next exit. The driver looks at me, then drives directly across my path, forcing me to brake. I look at the back of the car. Another L-Plate. Did she see me? I sometimes get the feeling that drivers can look right at you, but you don't register in their brains. This seems to happen most if you are on a bicycle or a motorbike, as you don't "matter", you are "unimportant" as a road user, the car is stronger and will win the collision challenge. It could also relate to how the new car user despised having to cycle, walk or get the bus in the past and can now get some retribution on the "scum" they now encounter in that situation. In some cases not being seen is perhaps understandable, the cyclist is wearing black clothes, has no reflectors or lights, and is cycling at night; but in my case, it was full daylight, I was wearing a dayglow yellow jacket, the tyres on my bike are bright red, my cycling helmet is bright red... So, congratulations to the Department of Transport who thinks it is ok for drivers to be allowed on the road despite, by carrying an L-Plate, freely advertising the fact that the state has not yet declared them capable of taking their place of responsibility on the road in their lethal killing instrument. Wonder if I could get a car horn fitted to my bike?

Confirmation of what I've always thought...

Off-road safety myth exposed

Children are no safer in SUVs than in standard passenger cars, says a report from US accident experts. They say the increased risk of a 4x4 rolling wipes out the potential safety of riding in a big off-roader.

The study, from American insurance firm State Farm, looked at 4,000 child accidents and found similar injury rates of 1.7 per cent in SUVs and cars.

This, when combined with the damage you will do to everyone else if in a crash in an off-road vehicle (and you are probably more likely to do so in any case as the high driving position gives the false impression of driving slower, explaining why people seem to speed more in 4x4s; the brakes are MUCH worse (hate having a Freelander behind me, they have possibly the worst braking distance on the road); and the steering responsiveness due to the high centre of gravity is seriously compromised), is why everyone should see sense and stop this moronic race to have a bigger "car" than your neighbour. When would it end?

Yet another story of injustice in Irish sport funding...

Two Irish cyclists, Robin Seymour and Tarja Owens (Team Podge and Rodge), won the open mixed classification of the TransRockies Challenge in Canada in 2005, beating an international field. I heard nothing about it until today, when I stumbled on the news while looking at a bike accessories website. The pair ended the seven stage off-road race a considerable 2 hours 30 minutes and 23 seconds clear of their closest rivals Blair Saunders and Marg Fedyna (Team Adidas Roll Up The Rim). Such was their performance that their overall time placed them sixth in the open men classification, underling the quality of their ride.

The tragedy is that Seymour and Owens were amongst 80 Irish athletes passed up for funding by the Irish Sports Council for 2005. Their participation in the unique off-road race cost approximately 5,000 euro and was only made possible through the support of K Capital Source/Mark Kenny, Red Bull and Outsider magazine. Why is it that those in control of funding are obsessed with the 'mainstream' sports, and completely ignore those unfortunate enough to excel in a sport that is not easily watched from the comfort of a couch, or a warm corporate grandstand?

To cite another example, Ireland is probably one of the best-sited countries in the world for surfing and windsurfing, but the PWA Professional Windsurfing World Tour only made 3 visits, in 2000 - 2002, as the government wouldn't stump up the cash to host any more, all this despite rave reviews from all who attended as to the excellence of the location, the beauty of the country, and so on. An event like this doesn't even cost very much to host...

Lights - bad design, or bad implementation?

A number of issues have struck me over the last few weeks, what with doing a lot of driving in the dark (dismal weather these days...). Firstly, 4x4 vehicles, and their headlights. Every time a 4x4 is driving behind me at night, my rear view mirrors blind me and the car roof is lit up like a soccer pitch at an evening game. I can't understand why this issue can't be resolved, as huge articulated trucks do not have the same problem. Are the 4x4 dipped beams just incorrectly adjusted? Do owners twiddle with the ride-height adjustment for the lights and think "I can see great now"? My own dipped beams light up the tyres and rear bumper of the car in front, but these 4x4s must be aimed somewhere about rear-view mirror/roof level. It would be nice if the police had a light intensity device with their speed gun, so that when they caught you driving over the limit they could see it was because you were trying to put some distance between you and the blinding 4x4 behind you so you could see the road ahead and drive safely. The second matter related to these new, "fashionable" rear lights you see on a lot of new cars, where the rear indicator is encircled by the brake light like it's inside a doughnut. While this may have been a "cool" idea in the design studio, if the car in front of you has their brake lights on, you can't see the indicator! Quite a few moments of "Oh, he's turning RIGHT! That's why he's swerving all over the road!". The eye seems to have difficulty distinguishing bright orange from even brighter red when it is circled, maybe a bigger separation is required in light design? The worst culprits are the new Toyota Avensis, the new Volkswagen Golf, and the Range Rover (well, the Range Rover also offends in the first issue, blinding you when behind you, along with being so wide that they cause traffic jams in Rhebogue. Another point, why do so many 4x4 drivers go so incredibly slowly over speed ramps? It's the nearest thing to real offroading the poor thing is ever likely to experience, so go for it!). There, feel better now...

Doing the right thing

BBC's Top Gear motoring programme may not be to everyone's taste, the presentation may grate to those of a more delicate disposition, the childish whims of Richard Hammond may irritate, although this is normally balanced by the reasonable, yet slightly cynical, tones of James May. Some of the things Jeremy Clarkson comes out with may also lean towards xenophobia. But one thing is for sure, I was impressed with the show last Sunday. Along comes the news section, with a preamble along the lines of how all other news had to be ignored because of the death of a great. Here I was, thinking to myself, "Oh no, they're going to get on the George Best bandwagon...", and instead they dedicate the time to a retrospective on Richard Burns. Thank God SOMEONE felt the need to mention his passing; how his friends and relatives felt about the unwarranted focus on an old footballer who cared so little for life that he managed to screw it up not once, but twice, as opposed to on a young man (Richard Burns was only 34 when he passed away) really striving to survive, it is easy to surmise. Whoever donated that liver to George Best must be turning in their grave, thinking about the criminal waste when that liver could have gone to someone else who really wanted it and would have taken care of it. Anyway, in conclusion, I was beginning to think that no-one was going to mention Richard Burns in the media (other than specialist publications), and I am glad he got a decent send-off, with clips of him doing what he did best, driving a selection of WRC cars very accurately and quickly through a forest.

http://www.richardburns.com/

SNOW !!!

Yes, folks, the good people here in Irish Weather Creation Ltd, a sub-group of God PLC, sent some snow our way last night. Anyone from Alaska etc. may not be that impressed, but for Ireland, particularly in the last 10 years where global warming has left us snow-less for many a winter, it is a bit unusual! In the 70s and early 80s there was lots of snow every winter, but not any more. OK, it isn't staying on the ground, but my car looked very festive this morning. Incidentally, we are having a lot of fog these days, and it has to be noted that very few drivers put on their fog lights. This is odd, as everyone has them on during clear summer evenings. Then they sit at the traffic lights wondering why every driver behind them has a big red face and squinting eyes. Maybe they go to turn them on in fog, not realising they've been on all summer, and inadvertantly turn them off?

Limerick drivers - gender divide in evidence

Yes, we all know about cheaper car insurance for women, and about young males being in the most accidents, but here's an interesting new twist on the whole gender issue:

I have noticed, particularly in Limerick city, a large discrepancy in road manners between male and female drivers. More specifically, if you are trying to cross busy traffic without having a traffic signal to assist you (for example, turning right across a flow of traffic at a junction that has no filter arrows, or pulling out of a petrol station, and so forth), chances are that the car that lets you out is driven by a man. I am unsure why women in general seem so unlikely to contribute to the smooth flow of traffic, and of course there are exceptions - normally women driving more powerful, sporting cars are much more likely to have road courtesy, perhaps because they have more interest in driving itself, and this may lead to greater awareness of cars other than their own. This seems to be the primary issue, unawareness, or lack of interest, in other road users. This is evidenced in the faces of women drivers as they come up to you sitting there waiting to turn right, with your indicator on and a look of hope on your face. They look like they don't even see you, and are thinking about something else, and the driving auto-pilot kicks in, the system that just keeps moving the car up to the back lights of the car in front every time a gap appears. On the other hand, maybe men like being courteous because it's a chance to flash their headlights (!) , but a peripheral awareness is still more apparent.

Beeping still continues...

Beeping of reversing construction vehicles still resonates around the building. Will they ever go home? I want to find out where they live, and beep outside their house all weekend. Then I'll get a rubber mallet and wallop their windows incessantly while staring in at them. After changing the colour of the building, what is left to do? Why won't they just BEEP off? I want to know what happened to all the "old" glass panels, as they would make a massive, and very well insulated, greenhouse, or a series of glass coffee tables, or something... At least we have blinds now.

ian0 to star in several concerts before Christmas

Yes, hot off the press (not the trouser press, but a metaphor referring to the temperature of physical paper being outputted with print applied as part of the publishing process), I will be headlining (once again, not a reference to the perforated plastic lining applied to the roof of a car, but a journalistic phrase) a number of gigs (not the boat commonly used as ship to shore transport in the 1700s, but a concert) over the next few months:

ULCO Concert - Cor Anglais Soloist in William Tell Overture - Rossini - 10 Dec

Galway Choral Society - Oboe soloist in Messiah - Handel - 16 Dec

New website unveiled by Maurice Bourge & Branford Marsalis in Monaco red-carpet ceremony

Yes, I have decided that everyone else in the world has a personal website, so I want one too. I created it last week, and most of what I said above is true, apart from the unveiling in Monaco, and the red-carpet ceremony, and Maurice Bourge & Branford Marsalis. It can be found here: http://richie.idc.ul.ie/~ian0/home/main.htm

Other than that, well, nothing much doing. Anyone have any rules for JS Bach melody writing or harmonisation?

Wait a minute, I KNEW there was something else! I'll start a new post, though...

Not a sausage

For the first time in more than 3 years, did not meet anyone on the way to work. Probably because it was pissing with rain, and everyone else was either on the bus, or had decided to take the morning off. Still, I give my vote of confidence to modern, breathable waterproof fabrics; not a drop of water got through, and there was no evidence of the 'sauna effect'. Need to solve the wet feet problem, though. The rain is not the problem, it's the huge puddles on the riverbank. Large offroad tyres lift huge amounts of water onto your feet, no matter how big your mudguards. Anyway, noticed that the rain falling on the swans and ducks was just running off them like, yes, water off a duck's back. So it's true, then. Nice to have an expression validated.

The mysteries of human behaviour

Every morning I cycle in to work along a path on the riverbank. This path is shared by other cyclists, eejits on mopeds and motorbikes, strollers, walkers, power walkers, joggers, runners, crowd walkers, dog walkers (leashed) and dog walkers (unleashed). I have yet to construct an avoidance behaviour model that will allow me to avoid difficulty with every fellow path user. The unpredictability is striking.

All below cases are for travel in opposite direction to myself.
Simple cases:
1. Cyclist. Generally the most predictable. Will normally keep left, as for road traffic.
2. Lone stroller. Will stay to one side. No rules as to which side, though. Generally show a preference for the non-water side of the path, maybe because they would rather I fell into the river than they did.
3. Power walker. Generally as above. Will not move in much, though.
4. Joggers & runners. As for cyclists.

Complex cases:
1. More than 1 person strolling/walking. Unpredictable. I normally decide which side they are most on, place my bike as close to the opposite edge of the path, and hope they comprehend my intentions. They rarely do. Normally, the crowd will do nothing until I am very close, then either a) step in front of me b) split up and perform Brownian motion c) obstruct me deliberately, as what am I doing interfering with their walk?
2. Two or three power walking middle-aged women. Pink tracksuits. Freshly-styled blonde hair (may be natural). They will continue to walk beside each other, none will move over, or go into single-file, and as I get close, and try to find a way around them they will step in my way so I have to brake, and then they will leave a small gap between them that I have to thread the bike through.
3. Women, generally middle-aged or older, with small dogs on a leash. Will ensure they are on one side of the path, the dog is on the other, the leash is strung across my path, but will be generally friendly as I try to untangle myself from the leash.
4. Men with dogs, leash or not. Will show how commanding they are by berating the dogs into some form of behaviour, normally involving sitting or stopping. Easy enough to deal with.
5. Middle-aged women with dogs not on a leash. Complete chaos. Dogs always prefer to walk on the opposite side of the path to their owners, slightly ahead of them. You try to avoid them, and the owner thinks you are aiming at THEM instead. At the last minute, the owner will call the dog to try to improve the situation, the dog will turn to look back at the owner, and as a consequence will move across into the middle of the path. I have to brake hard and take avoiding action. Subsequently, I either get a muted "sorry", or am glared at for existing.


All below cases are for travel in same direction as myself.
Simple cases:
1. Cyclist. More difficult than opposite direction. May not hear you. Good to brake noisily or change gear with a clunk to get attention. Then normally either let you by, or feel challenged and try to speed up.
2. Lone stroller. Will probably hear you, and stay to one side. No rules as to which side, though. Generally show a preference for the non-water side of the path, maybe because they would rather I fell into the river than they did.
3. Power walker. If listening to music, a good opportunity to scare them silly as you suddenly appear at their shoulder.
4. Joggers & runners. Normally very aware of their surroundings and will let you by.

Complex cases:
1. More than 1 person strolling/walking. Disasterous. If you do not make a lot of noise, you can be freewheeling behind them for quite some time before someone says "oh, a bike". Everyone else then panics and perform one of the following a) step in front of me b) split up and perform Brownian motion c) obstruct me deliberately, as what am I doing interfering with their walk?
2. Two or three power walking middle-aged women. Completely unaware of their surroundings. Will all talk simultaneously, but none actually listen. They will continue to walk beside each other, none will move over, or go into single-file. I will have to try to cycle past through the trees or something.
3. Middle-aged women with small dogs on a leash. Not too bad. As before, will probably be on one side of the path with the dog on the other. I normally make as noisy an approach as possible so I don't give them a heart attack (bikes come up on people very quickly and quietly, in fact people seeing you often completely mis-judge your relative speeds and try to do the avoiding, when all you want them to do is STAY WHERE THEY ARE AND BE PREDICTABLE), and they will be generally friendly as I try once more to untangle myself from the leash.
4. Men with dogs, leash or not. Once aware of your presence, will show how commanding they are by berating the dogs into some form of behaviour, normally involving sitting or stopping. Easy enough to deal with.
5. Middle-aged women with dogs not on a leash. Even worse than when you ar travelling in the opposite direction. Completely unpredictable and highly dangerous.

Footnote: It may appear that I have it in for middle-aged women. This is not true. I am referring to a special breed that think they own the path; even though I am actually using it to get to work, and they are women of leisure who could easily go somewhere else instead - such as a coffee shop, shopping mall, or wherever they buy the pink tracksuits, hairspray and pearls - rather than behaving in a selfish, antisocial manner while thinking they are at the top of the social ladder. If you still feel offended, then you must be one of these people, so I don't care.

Ah, start of a new term...

Yellow everywhere, that's the giveaway. Guides for orientation week, looking like big bird, and their accompanying hoardes of Ritz, Stag and WKD specialists, all walking around trying to look cool, but managing to look wide-eyed, amazed and lost. So here we go, another year of abysmal parking, Dutch Gold, Fields of Athenry and the accompanying drop in catering standards to facilitate the chicken and chips brigade. Still, they are the hope for Ireland's future, so let's not get too sceptical. Ah well, so, there you are, and so on...

True musicians, much underrated...

Was reminded by someone recently that Celine Dion was a great musician because she recorded the theme from Titanic (yeah, the completely over-played hackneyed 'oirishy' thing) in one take. This shows how standards have dropped in the world of music (well, big-label corporate productions anyway), as by that definition your local wedding band are also great, as they can get things right in one take. In fact, it can also be called 'playing live', a much-maligned skill now that EMI, SONY and so on are prepared to recruit people for their looks, not for their ability. This is possible because any moron can sing a tune if given 5 million attempts at it, lots of reverb, and sound engineers able to use pitch correction software afterwards. I myself can also get things right in one take: Every time I play the oboe solo in Krommer's Octet, it is in a live setting, with lots of attentive ears listening for blemishes, and I have to get it right, as it is live. I somehow manage to do so. Therefore I must be some kind of genius... Well, I'm not. I'm just a competent musician. Such a performance is to be expected from a professionally trained musician. Imagine if you could only make a cup of tea after 15 attempts, and someone else had to edit in half a cup of tea afterwards to correct for the addition of too much milk? Would this be acceptable? Well, it would if the customer was not aware of the problem, and was prepared to buy 10 million copies of the tea because it was in a beautifully presented, highly attractive, and very expensive cup, I suppose... Looks like I've answered my own question here. Depressing, isn't it?

Return of the ian0

Episode VI. After the bitter conflict between the rebel researchers and the imperial VC, the IDC was in a state of turmoil. All is now resolved with the finalisation of funding, and the rebellion may continue.

On another note, why is the entrance to the Arthur's Quay multistorey carpark "downstream" of the exit? This means that everyone entering blocks the path of anyone exiting, and vice-versa. It's completely stupid, and encourages accidents by creating an unnecessary crossing point.

The VC strike back...

Thankfully, we're not in Saigon, so it can mean only one thing: the Venture Capitalists may have finally done something! However, I shall still just wait and see, the champagne has been on ice as long as that neanderthal they discovered in a glacier on National Geographic Channel. Poor sod! Still, it could have been worse, he could have been on Time Team. Reminds me of Eddie Izzard's Speed Archaeology show, using a JCB and dynamite to discover a sword in 20 seconds. To all of you in the IDC, much crossing of fingers, but I may yet be back to blight your tranquil lives with my sublime presence (not subliming presence, though. Changing from solid to gas without passing through a liquid stage is beyond even my powers, although Michael Cooke could probably (ha! statistics joke!) manage it).

Any Venture Capitalists out there?

Well, you're all a bunch of wusses! Show you a guaranteed winner of a business idea, combined with highly worthwhile research, creation of a new artform, 75% cash up front, and a cure for can't-write-music-itus, and what do you do? Run for the hills, that's what. Well, bleeeuuuuugggghhhhhaaarrrgggh to you too. I'll do the whole thing myself "said the little red hen" (look it up if you want, it's a good reference).

Concerts

Free concerts, great, you cry! I'd never miss one of those... Well, I was performing in a free concert last Sunday in Killaloe, some very nice music, a full wind octet, NO string instruments (no strings attached, if you like...), and an audience of about 30 people. I think you are legally obliged to perform if the audience outnumbers the ensemble by 2 to 1, but we were going to play anyway! It's what we like doing, so an audience is a benefit, not a necessity, and helps focus the mind. Venue was beautiful, St Flannans in Killaloe, I highly recommend it as a venue, as it has a pleasant resonance, particularly suited to small ensembles and voice, I would say. Well, what did we perform? Mozart-Serenade in C minor (wind octet), Gounod-Petite Symphonie (flute, 2 oboes, 2 clarinets, 2 bassoons, 2 french horns, nice!). Maybe we'll get more advertising in future, by booking earlier, or by staging some outrageous stunt during the Oscar ceremony next year. Something to do with bassoons, leather trousers, and scantily-clad girls should do it, I reckon. But then again, we don't just want germans at the concert, so a mention of free Guinness as well? Oh, it's hard to know what would work best. Any suggestions?

Funding

Well, feck it anyway, as Fr. Ted would say. Strange how the word Funding sounds so perverse and dirty, or is it? It is indeed a black art, and can consume many dimensions, particularly time, and space on hard drives. "Do we need Funding?" "I like Funding exercises". Eeugh!

Feeling obloged to post something...

The oblogatory puns will stop soon, although it should be noted that I am under no oblogation to do so. I just wanted to join the blog on the landscape that is online blogs, as everyone else wants me to visit theirs, and why should they have all the fun? Indeed, if this trend continues, everyone will have their own blog, everyone will rant about how noone visits their blog in their own blog, and noone will read anyone else's blog because they are too busy feeling self-inportant in theirs. Everyone wants to go to the party, but noone wants to have to stay and clean up afterwards, or something reasonably unlike that. Anyway, here I am in blogland, ranting away, and wondering will anyone else even bother to visit? Why should they? They're too busy working on their own blog. Well, good luck to them.